I HATE THE COMPUTER.

I'm pretty sure that if I wasn't lonely and wanting in the company-category, I would get rid of facebook. It's such a waste of time. I actually hate it. As nice as it used to be to catch up (even if mostly by stalking) with friends and accquaintences from the past, it seems like the sum effect of facebook could be described with a bell-curve-ish graph. On one end, pre-facebook, the contact, both real and imagined, with whom we'd lost touch along the years was very minimal. In some instances, it was probably close to zero. Then, when facebook was created and during the subsequent ballooning of its reach, the contact with the forgotten and misplaced ballooned as well. You could search and search for old friends who were new members. Every new friend (and there were probably many of them every single day!) was a new adventure. The warm, comfortable, curious fulfillment of reconnecting with all of the people of the past was pervasive enough to allow one to ignore how much time was spent parusing profiles and posting pictures.

Alas, the novelty rush of every good thing must come to an end. With facebook, I think it's nearing its end. The guys over at facebook, inc try and add new features and new "apps" to entice the experienced facebooker that the experience can, once again, seem new and exciting. Yet, regardless of how many "farmvilles" they add, I'm sorry to report that it's just not working. Not for me, at least. In place of the rampant curiousity, the excited search results, and the entertaining picture escapades, is a hollow shell of the former exuberance, made from monotonous habits, addicted minions, and inadequate replacements for actual, real-life curiousity and companionship.

So. . . what is the enlightented facebooker supposed to do? "Deactivating" my facebook isn't an option - I want to be honest here about my abilities - but some sort of self-monitoring needs to happen, and it needs to happen soon. Mostly, I think the most probable way to combat empty habits is to re-fill my life with satisfying hobbies and satiating academia. Losing my center over the past yearandahalf surely hasn't helped my facebook hours wane. It's much harder to go looking for yourself once you're gone rather than seeking hours of mindless chatter-activity on the internet.

Now the only thing I have to do is to make a plan. And remember my hobbies. And get off the computer for the night.

Okay - off to the grocery store/cleaning/reading. I haven't had enough human contact today. Ugh. Besides dropping Mark off at school for his exam after I had finished my exam, I haven't spoken to a single other person face-to-face. Ugh. Ugh Ugh Ugh. Plus I don't feel good. It's definitely one of those days when I wish I had someone to take care of me, feed me, and clean up for me like my mom used to. Sigh.